The Whole Dirty Deed

I was off to a late start.  Just couldn’t get it together this morning, and when I say morning I mean noon.  I don’t know where the morning goes to sometimes (Palm Springs I hope) but I had to be in The Valley by 1:00 pm and interview 50 potential peops on camera for yet another reality show I’m making except this one is on roommates who suck.  I looked at the clock and realized – I only have 15 minutes to whip it together.  Not even time to take a shower – (relax,  it happens sometimes, and yes  it’s incredibly taboo for Americans to not shower at least once a day but most parts of the world missing a shower ain’t no biggie – hello, The French let’s not forget they created Chanel #5 and the bidet, need I say more ) but my hair needed a cleaning – so I used a trick that my friend Joy Somers taught me, years ago when she was my roommate, who also, by the way, was a master at putting eyeliner in the car and proudly kept a handy economy size bottle of Aqua Net Hair Spray in the passenger seat of her car and was never apologetic about her die hard love for that shitty bottle of ozone killing hair spray (gawd bless her) and by the by – her hair did always look fabulous even to this day so let that be a lesson to all of us who snub out on a $60 bottle of  Alterna Hairspay made from truffles.  But back to the quickie bang Somers technique –  you lean forward in the sink – wet ONLY your bangs – smather in a dollop of shampoo – lather it up – wash it out – and use a round brush and blow it.  The whole dirty deed takes less than 5 !minutes – brush out the nest I mean rest – stick in a low tale,  then- blam! You got a decent doo for one more day!



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